Chapter 14

Kitty

Astrid fussed over me the whole morning, and I had to admit, I loved it. As embarrassed as I was about the previous evening, it meant so much to have her there. 

Ordering me not to apologise was hard though. I earned myself another stroke of the tawse before she left. She offered to postpone giving it to me, but the prospect of having to wait felt worse. And on reflection, I wanted the feeling of release that I knew would follow. 

She insisted on making sure I was alright first, so held off until she felt confident to leave and go to brunch. That was when she turned up my CD player, had me bend over my desk, and gave me two blistering strokes across the backside. I managed not to scream the house down but only just. 

I cried for a while after, letting go the night before. She held me and stroked my hair. 

She did insist I thank her for punishing me. Something she said was always part of the ritual and I would be expected to remember from then on without being reminded. 

I did thank her. And sincerely meant it. 

She insisted I stay in bed as she left and we kissed goodbye in my room. She ordered me into the bath after she was gone. She seemed oddly amused about the prospect and asked me to let her know how it went when I saw her next. She reminded me not to work too late but also suggested I spend some of my time doing homework for her. Namely, studying how to curtsey properly because from Thursday she was going to start insisting on it. It was all a little overwhelming but also felt steady and good to have the instructions to focus on.

When she left, I opened the window to let out the malodour of booze and being ill, and tried to tidy up. 

I dropped my stinking clothes in the hamper, gathered a towel, and plodded into the bathroom. 

As I stepped into the full tub I discovered why Astrid had been so amused. The two new stripes she had left me with blazed the second they made contact with the warm water. The screech I held in during the discipline burst out at full volume. 

Recovering, I eased in, wincing as I did and cursing Astrid just a little. 

“Are you alright in there?” a tentative voice asked through the door. 

“Huh?… um…yeah, sorry, yes, just… stubbed my toe getting in the tub.”

“Okay… it just sounded kind of serious,” the voice came again, clearer that it was Jane’s.

“’S’alright, just a shock.”

It was quiet for a moment.

“Um… Can I come in?”

I knew I had to speak to her, but this wasn’t exactly the way I had envisaged. 

“Okay.”

Jane slunk in, closed the door behind her and leaned against it. She was disheveled in pyjama trousers and crop top, looking much the worse for wear. She wasn’t wearing her usual make-up, dark circles instead bordered her eyes, and her hair was tied back and mussed.  

“I… I wanted to talk to say…” Jane stammered, looked at me and then the floor.

I sat still in the tub.

“I wanted to say, I’m really sorry,” she finally apologised, looking up at me with wide sad eyes. 

“Okay,” I felt surprisingly hard. 

I yearned to forgive her straight away. 

But I was upset. 

And what Astrid had said that morning, about being angry on my behalf, was ringing in my ears. 

Jane looked at me silently. 

Perhaps she had expected more from me initially. And there might have been a time when I would have eased her conscience immediately.

“I really shouldn’t have said…” she paused, “Well, fuck, any of those things to you. I was horrible 

and then ran away and literally slammed the door in your face.”

I waited.

“I didn’t mean to put that on you,” she continued, “My issues… well, they’re mine. You were being 

really nice last night and I just shit on that and you.”

“Jane…” I wanted to end her misery.

“No, please let me finish,” she raised a hand, “It wasn’t okay. I… have this need to be in control… of everything. And it’s an issue. Tara came home and found me… in that state.”

I nodded, relating hard. 

“She was pissed off at first, but then… she took care of me,” she added, “and gave me a right telling off this morning.”

She motioned to the toilet.

“Please,” I nodded and considered how similar our evening and morning had actually been. 

She sat on the closed seat, rested her elbows on her knees and leaned forward over them. 

“I told her what I said to you…” she continued, “and she told me off again.”

“She didn’t have to though,” she turned to face me, “I already knew what a complete shit I’d been. We talked it through and agreed I had to cool it about needing everything be my way, and that I should… you know… talk to you…”

She stopped and looked at me, imploring. I glanced down at the water and then to her, “I think I get it… I mean yeah, I was upset… and also super drunk… but I think I get it.”

She nodded. 

“I… I did question things after you ran out… that maybe I was…” I started to explain but stopped when she winced her shame, “Fuck, it doesn’t matter… Jane, it’s okay. You’re forgiven. I get you need to feel in control and I’m glad you and Tara are talking it out.”

She exhaled, ”Thank you, Kitty. I… worried I really fucked up with you.”

She was looking so sad and so… un-Jane. 

I decided a splash of bath water might do the trick. 

“Hey! Fuck you!” she screamed, partially soaked.

“That’s better,” I grinned. 

“You little shit.”

“Apology’s over then I take it?”

“Too fucking right!” she brushed herself down and looked at me with a softer expression, “I am sorry. I didn’t mean to be so horrible about you and Astrid. It… wasn’t about you.”

“I figured,” I sighed, “Well… after Astrid came over and we talked it through.”

“She was here?”

I nodded.

“Last night?”

“Yeah,” I grimaced, “I kind of drunk called her when I was upset.”

“Oh Kitty, fuck, I’m sorry…”

I made to splash her again.

“Don’t you fucking dare!”

“Stop apologising then,” I warned, “I chose to drunk dial my Dominant all by myself.”

“Was it okay?”

“It was,” I sighed happily.

“What was that?” she raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“That…” and Jane imitated my sighing.

“What’re you on about?” I was unconvincing and blushing.

“You have it bad for her,” Jane pointed at me.

“Jane,” I warned, raising my hand above the water.

“No fucking w…” she was cut off by another wave of bath-water, which led to another screech from her and series of expletives. 

Jane was sputtering as she punched my arm in retaliation and there was more laughing before I kicked her out of the bathroom. 

By the time I walked out by way of the newly cleaned kitchen, I could smell freshly made toast and eggs. Jane gestured for me to sit, and said that breakfast was also part of the peace-offering. 

I sat gratefully, realising how hungry I was, forgetting what impact the kitchen chairs could have on a freshly tawsed arse.

“Not again,” Jane looked at me in mock-horror.

“Shut it, you,” I sucked in my breath, “this was on account of last night.”

“She whipped you for asking her to come over?” she asked in actual horror.

“No, no…” I waved her down, and then hesitated, “Um… for apologising for asking her to come over when I needed her.”

She stared at me for a moment, spatula in hand. 

I stared back. 

And she burst out laughing.

“Hey!” I protested but her giggling continued for a good long while as she turned back to the sputtering pan. 

Breakfast-now-lunch felt better but there remained lingering uneasiness. I tried to just enjoy the meal. I had hoped that maybe Tara would join us, but she seemed to be out again and I didn’t want to push Jane for details. 

When we were done, I returned to my now frigid room and quickly shut the window. I looked at the ever-present pile on my desk, and the anxiety of the presentation crashed down on me from on high. 

I had pretty much lost an entire work day with my drunken escapade. 

The prospect of the presentation became overwhelming. 

I tried to calm down. 

I can do this. It’s going to be alright. You’re fine, I said to myself, You are way ahead. It’s going to be great. It already kind of is. Even if you left it now, it would be alright.

But alright wasn’t good enough. 

It had to blow them away. 

I spent the evening buried in many more texts than I needed to, feverishly making notes. 

It took forever to plough through it all and when I tried to write it up, each Power Point slide looked worse than the last. 

9 o’clock came ridiculously fast and when it did, I threw a book across the room. 

Astrid

It took way too long for Thursday to come, but when it did, I was giddy with nerves and excitement for Kitty to meet the in-laws. 

I had told Jen at brunch to make sure everyone played nice. She promised she would and offered to talk with Kitty too, which I very much appreciated. 

Saturday night had been intense. Kitty had called Sunday evening to be cheeky about the bath 

surprise. Despite her humour, she seemed out of sorts on the call, and I worried perhaps she was having second thoughts about everything. 

She promised she wasn’t but it only made me more certain I wanted her to have more contact with others in the community. So, she had plenty of perspective as she figured this out for herself.

Kitty asked what to wear to dinner. I had promised again it wasn’t a formal affair and didn’t require anything special. I told her that I, on the other hand, tended to dress for dinner. But that was me, and no one else did. Except maybe Jen. Her idea of dressing for dinner was a neckline that plunged more, not less. But she almost always wore a suit, which she insisted demonstrated her respect for the occasion. 

When Kitty arrived at my door, she was in her usual t-shirt and blue jeans, covered by a warm coat at least, carrying a bottle and a bouquet of mixed autumn flowers. She curtseyed beautifully.

“How lovely and good evening girl,” I appreciated, “For me?”

“Yes, Miss,” she replied with a kiss on my cheek and handed them to me, “The wine’s non-alcoholic though… after the other night.”

“Probably for the best,” I smiled, “Besides if you’re sober, I can take advantage of you after dinner.”

She smiled tightly. 

“Is everything alright?” I asked but was interrupted by Jen’s appearance at the top of the stairs.

“Oi, oi, down there!” she called, “Time for grub, get your queer arses up here.”

I sighed at Kitty. 

Kitty smiled softer and led the way up. 

I locked the door and joined them as Jen was introducing herself. 

“I’ve heard so much about you.”

“Likewise,” Kitty shook her hand and I thought I noticed the beginnings of a bob to curtsey, but she stopped herself. 

Wow, that really was drilled into her at some point. I had to remember to ask her about it, as well as how her studies had gone. 

“Ooooo,” Jen exclaimed, clearly having spotted the near-curtsey too, “What a polite girl, you have trained her well Astrid.”

“Some of it was factory installed,” I admitted, “We’re still working out all the details.”

Kitty blushed, the sweet dear, and I linked arms with her as we walked over to The Hearth, our name for the house where most of the queers-in-law lived. 

“Caroline, David and Lilith are there,” I explained to Kitty as we walked, “Jen has her own place, like I do. And George… well, he comes and goes.”

Jen nodded her agreement and we walked up to the front door and knocked. 

“Everyone here is kinky or kink-friendly,” I told Kitty, “They know who you are, and who you are to me.”

She smiled nervously. 

I really had to remember this was probably overwhelming. 

I had been nervous to meet her family too.

The door was opened by Lilith, our ’little sibling,’ considered the youngest of us in that we all sort of took her under our wing. 

She was newly of the co-op, having arrived a few months prior. 

Lilith was a fierce, goth, punk, dyke, who took absolutely no shit from anyone. She had been living rough when Caroline and David took her in, like they had so many others. 

We thought of those two as our collective mum and dad. Caroline was a trans woman who came out two decades prior, in a time when that was even harder. Her history was painted on her beautiful face in hard lines and we had just celebrated her 55th birthday. David was a bear through and through, big, sweet, and kind. A trans man five years younger than Caroline, David transitioned earlier in life as well. 

If you needed the comfort of being wrapped in a hug of unconditional love, you went to David. If you needed someone who was going to fight for you tooth and nail and give you the goddess’ honest truth, no matter how harsh, you went to Caroline. 

They were sweet together. Not actually a couple but as close as any could be.

I loved my family dearly. Including George, our wayward little brother. He was a trans man too, who came out young and had a particularly rough go of it. After getting kicked out of school, he had been rung through a few youth institutions, which did him no good at all. He lived with Caroline and David for a few years before breaking out on his own. He still came round, but it wasn’t often any more. I missed him.

Lilith led us into the narrow hallway where we took off coats and shoes. It was a scrum with all of us there, but Kitty managed to take my coat, the good girl, before we collectively made it up the stairs into the living room / communal kitchen area. 

“There they are!” David wrapped Jen and me together in a literal bear-hug, as if we hadn’t seen each other in years.

“Hey there, dad,” I hugged him back. 

“Mum’s just finishing the spuds,” he released us. 

I looked over his shoulder to spot a backwards wave from Caroline facing the oven. 

Lilith walked past us into the kitchen to help, the array of chains that criss-crossed her scandalously short black frilly dress jingled as she went. Her hair was bound up in two buns on the top of her head and I noted that her black make-up was particularly fierce that day.

David was the same as ever, grey t-shirt, black leather trousers, and a little waistcoat. His beard seemed recently-trimmed but still hid the majority of the bottom of his face, the rest of which was framed by a short crop of slightly receding hair. His brown eyes sparkled above a big grin. 

“Well? Going to introduce me?” he motioned to Kitty. 

“Of course,” I laughed, “David, this is my girl, Kitty.”

Kitty shook David’s hand and this time she did curtsey before wincing. 

“Hi, sorry, I don’t know why I keep doing that.”

“Not sure what you mean, but it’s adorable,” David replied amiably, “but honestly, we don’t stand much on ceremony here unless it’s a formal function, so do you mind if I greet you properly?”

David spread his arms and cocked his head to one side with a broad smile. 

Kitty laughed and went in for a hug that entirely enveloped her relatively slight frame before being lifted off the ground a little. 

“This is for you,” Kitty offered the bottle breathlessly once she had come down, “and the flowers, well they were for Astrid, but perhaps we could put them in some water?”

“Aren’t you romantic,” David smiled, “Lilith, can you find a vase for these?”

“Sure,” Lilith mumbled as she took the flowers to the sink. 

“Dinner’s almost done! So, sit your arses down you lot,” Caroline called out, now pouring a tray of roast potatoes into a brown earthen-ware serving bowl. 

She was wearing a simple house-dress, a staple for her. This one was green with a small polka-dot pattern, currently protected by a flowery apron. She was chewing gum and I guessed she must be trying to give up smoking again. Otherwise, I was sure I would have seen a butt dangling from her lips, spilling ash into the food, as had been her habit. 

Being on the nicotine gum tended to put Caroline in a foul mood though, so I hoped for a calm evening. Family dinners could get rather rowdy, and mum had a habit of putting her foot down loudly when she got fed up with us. 

“Come on, Kitty, you can help me with my chair,” I guided her to the table, which was a simple Formica affair, just about large enough for us all in the cramped room. The chairs surrounding it were mismatched, but all homey and pleasant, some painted white like the table and others the colour of the maybe-wood they were made from. 

I chose my usual spot in the middle of the table and directed Kitty to sit next to me, between myself and Caroline. 

Jen carried over the bottle Kitty had brought, now opened, along with a pitcher of lemon water to sit opposite us. 

I had Kitty pour some of the non-alcoholic wine for everyone as more eclectic bowls and plates arrived. 

Finally, everyone seated, I watched Kitty take her napkin and put it in her lap and sit up neatly as Caroline joined us last at the head of the table. 

“Well, don’t just sit there, eat,” she instructed gruffly, before turning to Kitty, “A pleasure to meet you dear, welcome to the family.”

Kitty looked a little shocked but gracefully didn’t miss a beat, “It’s my pleasure and I’m honoured.”

Caroline nodded appreciatively, “Well, aren’t you a darling.”

“Where did you find her, then?” Caroline asked me over her, “Such a well-mannered girl?”

“She found me to be honest, mother.”

Caroline grunted.

“So, you’ve taken her in hand, I take it?” she ignored Kitty for the moment. 

It wasn’t an uncommon practice and not meant to be disrespectful to Kitty. Rather it was meant to be respectful to me, the Dominant. But I did wonder how Kitty felt about it.

“Yes, I have,” I answered, “She’s collared, and under contract, but she can speak freely.”

Caroline nodded and turned to Kitty again, “Well, you’ve got a good Mistress there, Kitty. She’ll treat you right.”

“Mum…” I tried to protest.

“No, it’s true. It’s been way too fucking long if you ask me, and I’m glad you finally have a girl in your life,” Caroline looked at me pointedly, “And you will train her properly, I know you will. And take good care of her.”

“Yes, Ma’am,” I answered, and Kitty looked at me oddly. 

“Term of affection,” I whispered when Caroline turned to get the gravy from Lilith, “She is the matriarch of the family after all.”

“I can see that, Miss. She’s very… impressive.”

I smiled at Kitty’s expression of shock and awe. 

“She is, and she is much less intimidating once you get to know her.”

“I’m what?” Caroline interjected gruffly.

“A firm but fair, loving mother,” I answered with a sidelong smile.

Caroline grunted, “You’re not so big that I can’t put you over my knee…”

I laughed and then so did she, hers a low rumble of a chortle.