foreword

 J. Allison: Hello, this is going to be an unusual foreword, because we are going to do this somewhat as a conversation between the two of us because we had so much we wanted to say. 

S.M. Shifflett: I think it’s interesting that we are recording the foreword, because we’re really like combining really old-fashioned things, like books with illustrations, and having podcasts and having a website. 

J. Allison: So, yeah, we are releasing this in rather a strange way. Partly because we didn’t know if we could get a publisher. I spoke to a darling friend and she suggested that it would be difficult perhaps to find a publisher as a first time author, which is what I am. I have written other things but not necessarily a novel before. And so we were struck with the difficulty of are we going to do a self-published thing, which would be very difficult to necessarily get to a lot of people. These things can be very hard. And the idea came to me to use a model that web comics do, which is exactly what we are about to do. A chapter will be released every week and they will be free. At the end of that period, the webcomic artists’ work I enjoy, then offer their books in physical format. And seem to do relatively well with that. So, we’re hoping that at the end of this, you will enjoy having read this and would be interested in buying a physical book. Because we will be offering that. And it will be beautiful. Because it will have Suzanne’s illustrations in it. 

This story kind of started as a visual idea. It has been rattling around my head for well over a decade. And took many forms before we settled on this one. The first time I thought about this, I kind of thought about is as maybe a film. Which at the time I did consider this, there was a nibble that it might happen. A very minor nibble I might add. And then I thought, oh, no, it is a bit long, it probably could work as a TV series. And then I had another conversation with someone who thought they could maybe… But then of course nothing happened with that. And then, I conceived of trying to write it as a comic and what was so lovely was, I showed my comic to Suzanne. Who, in the nicest possible way, suggested that the material perhaps was just slightly beyond where I was as an artist at the time. Which was absolutely true. And I realised that the story was just bigger and longer than I could possibly draw. And so, it came to mind that it could work very well as a novel. And then Suzanne, very kindly suggested that someone could illustrate it. And my inability to realise the implication of that was that Suzanne, you could illustrate it. And that is what we have. 

S.M. Shifflett: When people are writing novels, or painting in my case, it can be such an isolated kind of thing where you’re working on something forever and then you’ll show it and maybe get a little feedback and maybe change it a little bit. But what we did was that we met every week, and as you wrote a chapter, you read me the chapter, and I took notes of what visually I was seeing so we were working in tandem I think in a really beautiful way to help develop the illustrations along where it was really cohesive and they work together in a kind of seamless way. 

J. Allison: When we thought about releasing it as a book, and of course we’re very keen for people to be able to read it on the page and for people to see Suzanne’s illustrations, but we also know that’s not always an accessible format for people. So, it occurred to us that one of the best ways to do that would be to do this as a podcast. 

S.M. Shifflett: Because even for me like in the beginning I said, “Hey, look, I have trouble reading. I’m dyslexic, so I appreciate audiobooks much more than the written page.” So, you were so kind and gracious to record every chapter for me. So, my ritual is to listen to the book while I’m drawing. I appreciate it, I can’t even tell you how much I appreciate that. Hearing your lovely voice. Which is going to be great with the podcast, is that you get to hear the actual writer reading the book. 

J. Allison: That’s very kind of you but I honestly don’t think of it as a kindness, I think it’s just access. And it’s also tremendously fun. 

S.M. Shifflett: Yeah. 

J. Allison: Of course, I’m a bit worried about my acting for all the characters so please be gentle. 

I also wanted to talk a little bit about the story. It’s based in 2003, in London. Which is a time-period and place that I know very well. Though funnily enough, when Suzanne and I began talking about this story we were going to base in California. We were going to put it in San Francisco, I think. In 2003. Because it’s a place that Suzanne knew very well and I thought the story would work very well there. Because over a decade I had mapped out exactly what was going to happen in my head and it seemed like a really good location. But it is just not somewhere I know very well. And I realised that 2003 in London was a very particular time for the queer community. When I had this conversation with a dear friend, we discussed about how the London queer scene was very specific at that time. There was a particular sense of community, there was a particular set of issues we were dealing with, we were navigating very specific kinds of interactions with each other. And it seemed kind of perfect to set this book on a backdrop of that. As such, however, I on a personal level have tried to make sure that the book does not reflect any actual experience that I’ve had. Or any people that I know. Now, even when I did the comic, people said, and I thought it was kind of lovely, that they saw themselves in the work. That I take as a tremendous compliment. Because we don’t often see ourselves in other’s work. 

S.M. Shifflett: No, we don’t.

J. Allison: As queer artists. So, I’m hoping that you might find some recognition and I hope that you feel that this reflects something of your experience as a queer person. That would a true on honour. But as I said, on a personal level, I’ve tried to make sure that that there are no references to anything that really happened. In the book. Sorry, it’s all made up.

S.M. Shifflett: It’s funny when you were first reading some of the San Francisco version, the language wasn’t right. It made more sense for it to be in London. Where you were at that age and at that time. Queer communities are great, because you can travel and go to the places that are gay friendly and you have a strong connection. But there’s always a little bit of a cultural shift. And I think if you’re writing a novel, that you’re really getting into the characters, and you’re getting into a subculture, especially like with this book, the BDSM scene. Because the BDSM scene in London is different than the BDSM scene in San Francisco or Berlin or Sweden. So, to have that flavour or that subtlety, it’s best to stick, I think, with what you’re really familiar with. 

J. Allison: That isn’t to say that I ever wanted to be “representative” of anyone. That’s really difficult, right? Because I do a lot of work in other parts of my life on representation and how important that is. But the truth is, I can’t represent a community nor would I hope to do that. What I would like to, is to express some authenticity. And the authenticity in my own experience is of London queer communities in 2003. I was there, I experienced it. But I don’t want to represent it, nor do I believe that I ever could represent the universality of it. But maybe I can represent certain themes. Certain things that were important. Certain ideas and certain relationships especially. Because that was the thing that I felt at that time: development of community, of learning who I was as a person. And I wanted to reflect that a bit. Hopefully of course, it still has some merit in the now, because I presume some of these things don’t really change. 

S.M. Shifflett: I think one thing that’s cool about this book is you don’t have to be part of that community to read the book. It will actually give you insight into what the community is a little bit about. 

J. Allison: I was lucky enough to have a conversation with Torrey Peters, who is the author of Detransition, Baby, and we were talking about this notion of representing and authentic characters when writing fiction. And one of the things that she said was, that her characters weren’t perfect. They do the wrong thing. They say the wrong thing. At the wrong time. Because that’s what people do. They have common experiences. Even though she wrote, and I really like this, she wrote from a point where the characters who were trans in those stories don’t spend a great deal of time explaining what transness is to a potentially non-trans audience. But they talk authentically from where they’re coming from. With the presumption that you will have some sense of what they are going through. Not because you know everything about trans people but because our issues aren’t so very different. Or incomprehensible. 

  In this particular story, we have two people who meet and navigate the problems of being twenty-something in London, of different backgrounds specifically across class, and trying to figure out how to be together. This isn’t that unusual. But people think that because it’s a queer story or maybe even a BDSM story, that it might be so incomprehensible. Whereas I genuinely think it will probably be very recognisable. No matter who you are. 

S.M. Shifflett: Yes, because it’s a human story. 

J. Allison: Yeah, that’s the idea. I wanted to write a story where a couple might meet and form a BDSM relationship and unlike most stories, the only problem they don’t have is their BDSM relationship. Right?

S.M. Shifflett: Yes. Exactly. 

J. Allison: Everything else is a huge problem in their lives. Because I was so tired of reading stories where that was so fraught. Or so difficult. I was like, “Oh for god’s sake.” It’s just another way of connecting. It’s just another way of building a relationship. And it’s just human stuff.

This was made with a lot of love. And a connection between both of us. In a way that we found really inspiring. So, if you’re listening to this as we release it, the first chapter will go live on Sunday, December the 3rd, 2023. And you will get a new chapter every single week on a Sunday after that. At the end of which you are very welcome to buy a physical version of the book. Suzanne and I are going to make it really pretty and add some extras into the end.